Some changes I've made to my life. No, I have not finally lost and kept off the weight, thanks for reminding me. I am however eating betterish, and working outish, so maybe something will happen. Ish. What I really want to talk about is that I am no longer taking Effexor, and I have quit smoking. Yup. I did that. Little old me actually stuck to something. :)
I stopped taking the Effexor about a month ago. The reasoning behind that was I don't have a job, don't know when/if I actually will get a job, and well, it just felt like it was time. The first two days were fine, and then the Zzztt Zzztts came. Oh, and did I mention there were days I felt like I had the flu? No? Cuz I did. And just about a month out and I'm still experiencing the random side effect every now and then. A Zzztt Zzztt here, trouble sleeping there, and headaches. I hate headaches. Acetaminophen is my friend. I feel great about being off the meds. I have actually cried. I haven't really felt and cried for a long time. It felt nice.
Smoking. A dirty little habit, and an even dirtier little secret. I started smoking in April I think. It was a two-a-day habit. And that's just how I liked it. Come summer though and I was smoking anywhere from 2 to 9! That's some serious usage jumping. Well, last week I decided I was done. The morning smoke was harsh, and it was doing nothing to help the stress, and that pathetic hope I had that it would help suppress my appetite? That was a stupid idea. So I said no more. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday went by. Totally breeze. But come Friday, I was starting to sweat. I wanted it. I NEEDED it. Or so I thought. I bought a pack, smoked one, smoked two, smoked three. Fuck. I told myself I was going to quit.
Saturday morning I wake up and after brunch I head out for a smoke. Nothing. It did nothing for me. I didn't even smoke the whole thing. I stubbed it about halfway through, and didn't think about it the rest of the day. Take two. I know! Why the hell was I giving it take two! Sunday morning, head out for a smoke. I force myself to smoke the whole thing, but I'm done. I have no desire to smoke anymore. Hopefully I didn't do myself any serious long-term lasting damage over those five months or so.
It always comes back to the weight though. No matter how successful I am elsewhere, I will never be truly content until I get the weight off. But now that I am not smoking, not taking those pills, and trying to eat better and work out, things should get going in the right direction.
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